Alive

I have been painting a lot lately. These paintings are stirring my soul in a way I have no words for. I stay up late and get up early just to paint. The ones on top have detailed line work and the ones below are without. Which do you like better? I am still trying to decide.

I'm becoming wildly excited about my next chapter.

My excitement feels like thunder rumbling in the distant at the moment but the excitement is getting a little louder with every passing day.

If you're one of my steady readers, you know this year has been challenging for me. Honestly, I think after a certain age the challenges start arriving closer together.

So I've been doing some serious soul-searching.

What now? What is my purpose? If I have a couple of decades of good living ahead of me, what do I want them to look like?

I've decided to spend the rest of this year—which got off to a super rocky start—experimenting with things that might make me feel more alive. I do believe the best part of my life may still be ahead of me.

I don't say that last sentence lightly. And notice, I said “may be ahead of me”.

I've already had a brilliant life.

One filled with wonder, adventure, meaningful work, deep friendships, and extraordinary love. My two now-grown children have given me more joy than I could ever describe, and now there are grandchildren. Goodness. No one adequately prepares you for that delight and happiness.

I haven't had the privilege of being married for many decades, but I have known big love. Amazing love. And I still believe our lives are richer when we have someone beside us to witness all of the beauty and magic.

I will never stop believing in romance.

Never.

Lately I've been researching people who are living big lives after 65, and I've discovered something fascinating. Most of these people I admire, took big chances.

They stayed curious and open.

A few weeks ago I spoke with one of the teachers at the Modern Elder Academy since I am thinking of making my way to their Santa Fe campus soon. Well. She was brilliant. And she was 80 years old. During our conversation as we talked about my research for “living a bigger, bolder life after 65” she said something I haven't stopped thinking about:

"Some people do tend to flatline as they grow older."

Ouch.

You know exactly what she means! Some people seem to shrink their lives year after year. Their world gets smaller. Their curiosity fades. Their adventures stop. Others keep growing. They learn new things. Meet new people. Take risks. Follow passions. Stay interested in the world.

I know which group I want to be in.

So I've been asking myself: How do I make my life even bigger?

Because here's what I've learned. As we age, we experience losses. Children move away. Relationships end. People we love get sick. Friends die. Plans change. Others disappoint us and we disappoint ourselves.

Pain is simply a part of life.

So the answer isn't to eliminate pain. We can’t. Maybe the answer is to build a life so large, so meaningful, and so full that when pain hits, it is not the biggest thing in the room.

Does that make sense?

So here's my experiment.

Over the next six months, these are the things I'm doing to feel more alive.

1. Meet 25 Interesting People

I want to have coffee, lunch, walks, and conversations with 25 people who fascinate me. Artists. Entrepreneurs. Teachers. Gardeners. Travelers. Dreamers. I'll keep track of them and share what I learn.

I’ve already met three!

2. Learn to Play Golf

I love golf. I love golf courses. I love riding in golf carts. I love watching golf. And I also love the quiet social grace that golf teaches you. It fascinates me.

What I haven't quite figured out is how to actually play.

Recently the universe tricked me into accidentally buying a really great pair of golf shoes.

Long story I will spare you from.

So I'm taking that as a sign. A few friends and I are signing up for lessons starting at the end of this month, and I've already entered the Masters lottery!!!

Fingers crossed I will get on that beautiful course next Spring.

3. Build a Stronger Body

I'm lifting weights. I've joined the Y. I'm buying a rowing machine because I absolutely love rowing. I'm walking more. I got my bike fixed. I am very focused on 8 hours of quality sleep. And I am eating mostly local whole foods.

At this stage of life, strength feels like freedom. I want more of it.

4. Learn Something New With My Hands

I love painting. But I also want to try something completely different. Maybe clay. Maybe welding! Maybe sewing. Maybe I will finally get serious about my guitar.

Maybe something I haven't even discovered yet.

There is something deeply satisfying about learning a new skill and being a beginner again.

5. Take Some Solo Adventures

This one truly excites me. I have three solo trips planned (in my heart and head) this year. There’s something powerful about discovering who you are when no one else is writing the itinerary.

6. Grow Spiritually

This may be the most important item on the list. I've always been deeply spiritual. I believe in a loving God, and lately I've found myself asking God to walk beside me every day. To guide me.To help me become the person I want to be.

Oddly enough, I feel closest to God when I paint. Something happens when imagination takes over. I never know where it will lead, and that mystery feels exciting enough to wake me up at night. Painting feels spiritual to me.

7. Create More Beauty

I live on two acres. Full of amazing trees. I dream of filling my little piece of land with magical places. Gardens. Benches. Gathering spots. Tiny destinations. Places for grandchildren, neighbors, friends, and family to sit, laugh, connect, and simply enjoy being alive.

That's the dream.

My ALIVE list is still growing.

But this feels like a good beginning.

I've come to realize that we don't control very much in life. We don't control who stays. We don't control who leaves. We don't control outcomes nearly as much as we'd like to believe. But we do control how we show up. We control what we learn. We control what we attempt. We control whether we stay curious. We control whether we keep growing.

And for me, that's where a good life begins.

So here's to the next six months. Here's to becoming even more ALIVE.

And if you're reading this, I'd love to know:

What would be on your ALIVE list?

With joy and LOVE,

Robbin