Not Tonight, Nana.

This is a photo of me from a few years ago. No make up, straight up from the bed to watch the sun rise and feel the cool sand on my bare feet. This photo feels like LOVE to me. And I will take that feeling any day of the week.

My sweet grandson has a funny little expression.

When I ask him if he wants to do something and he’s not interested, he simply says,

“Not tonight, Nana.”

It could be 8 a.m. It doesn’t matter.

It’s always:

“Not tonight, Nana.”

I’ve had an amazing life.

I have an amazing life.

A life filled with big love, wonderful friends, family, stunning adventures, and crazy abundance.

Has there been hurt along the way?

Of course.

That’s the price of living and loving people.

But one thing I know about myself is this:

My reset button still works.

I know how to come back to myself when life knocks me off center.

Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of reading about learning to trust yourself.

That feels like important work.

Because when life knocks us down, the question isn’t always, “Can I trust other people?”

Sometimes the better question is:

“Can I trust myself?”

I recently read a quote from Pema Chödrön:

Feel the feeling. Drop the story.

I’ve been thinking about that a lot.

Let’s say I drop a heavy box on my toe.

I feel the pain.

I check the damage.

Maybe I hop around the room for a minute.

Ouch.

Is there anything worse than sudden toe pain?

That’s reality.

But then comes the story.

What was I thinking trying to move that box by myself?

I can’t do things I used to do.

I always overestimate what I can handle.

Now my poor little toe has somehow become evidence that my best days are behind me, for crying out loud.

The feeling was real.

The story wasn’t.

Start noticing how often you do this.

Seriously. Go about your day today and see if you do it too.

Something hurts, and then we tell ourselves a story about what it means.

A disappointment becomes a prediction about the future.

A mistake becomes a character flaw.

A hard day becomes proof that life is unfair.

But maybe the feeling is enough.

Maybe sadness can just be sadness.

Maybe disappointment can just be disappointment.

Maybe a sore toe can just be a sore toe.

Without turning into a story about who we are.

Funny enough, my grandson has been quietly helping me with his sweet choice of words.

When I catch myself spinning a story out of a feeling, I sometimes stop and say out loud:

“Not tonight, Nana.”

The feeling can stay.

But the story?

Not tonight.

P.S. Just a reminder: I have comments off on purpose. I love, LOVE getting personal texts or calls when I share something that hits home. I sometimes end emails with this thought: Stay close. Because it matters more than you can imagine.

Today, pick up the phone.Talk to your neighbor.Tell someone your truth.

Stay close to what matters most to you. Because that’s what makes for some lovely, true stories.